Sooooo, once again I find myself awake, having a little tear up and struggling to sleep. It's funny really how I can sleep all day and can't stay awake to complete my day to day tasks but as soon as it hits 10pm, INSOMNIA suddenly exists.
I've been thinking recently on what to write on here and I have avoided it as times have been tough for me recently and the thought of this blog becoming a depressing wall of sadness just isn't me... especially after finding out some of the people that read this.
Back to me pondering about what to talk about... relationships, friendships and family seems to be a topic I haven't spoken about. So here it goes.
Family is so important to me, anyone who knows me knows that I love my family beyond imaginable and that they've been nothing but supportive through my journey so far, aswell as friends, I have a collection of close friends who will do anything to try and make me feel better. Relationships, I mean they don't always work out but everyone I've dated has really been supportive when we were together. Everyone around me loves and cares about me so much and I should feel privileged.. lucky to have so many caring loved ones... right?
Wrong.
As most people who live with either a chronic or life long condition will probably be familiar with this... that you could have 10 million friends and family and you can still feel completely isolated. Isolated, a word that describes me perfectly at the moment. In no way am I physically or purposefully being isolated at all, I mean to most people that know me wouldn't think anything of it but I feel completely separate from everyone and everything. When there's something in your life (like endometriosis) that no one else can see, or feel or even notice, but it singles you out from everyone at the same time, I think its very easy to feel alone.
And when it comes to family and friends (the ones that love you so dearly) you cant help but conceal things from them because you couldn't care hurting them and 9 times out of 10, they just don't know what to say.
But I would like to say, if you have a condition and you're reading this, speak to someone, anyone, it WILL make you feel better, I promise. And if you're reading this and you know someone with a condition, ask them "how are you dong, seriously?" and don't ask it half heartedly, put it out there that they can speak to you, it'll make a massive difference.
Thank you family, thank you friends, I don't always appreciate you but I don't know what id do if you weren't around!
