I love Christmas!!!!!! I love the food and the decorations and spending time with the folks and the family it really is amazing but it's not when that family member no one invited endometriosis turns up and ruins it all. And I think that's the thing about a chronic illness... it makes you so anxious to the point that you become scared to even start to enjoy anything (Christmas, new year, birthdays) I personally get so scared and worried that my illness will creep up on me I don't want these times of year to even arrive because I don't want the disappointment of being too ill to experience and enjoy it.
Last year I wasn't bed bound on Christmas Eve and now I can't help but fear it! Fortunately Christmas was relatively smooth for me and I enjoyed a quiet time with family. However I still had to sit and watch what I ate, drank, make sure I don't bend too much which although it was awful it's apart of my life and my mum, dad, sister and nan looked after me and helped me through it.
New year was spent in Germany with my uncles family, it was beautiful to share it with everyone. And although I'm not one of these "'new year new me" people I have decided to change my mindset this year and take care of number one (sounds selfish) but I explain myself too much make excuses for being ill and I'm constantly saying SORRY! Sorry is said everyone other word in my life. But you know what it's time for a mindset change and doing only what makes me happy!!!!! And that's that.
